The competition was fierce, but after dozens of meritless post-election lawsuits cycled in and out of U.S. courts since Nov. 3, Twitter Law appears to have found a winner.
“Folks, this is the single dumbest election lawsuit of the entire cycle, and I’ve read kraken filings front to back,” wrote New York-based commercial litigator Akiva Cohen, announcing that the reigning conspiracy theorists of the “elite, strike force” legal team have been dethroned.
Folks, this is the single dumbest election lawsuit of the entire cycle, and I've read kraken filings front to back. https://t.co/PLHTf7HhbM
— Akiva Cohen (@AkivaMCohen) December 22, 2020
His award went to coalition of Republican state lawmakers, organizations, and voters who filed a lawsuit on Tuesday purporting to challenge the 2020 election results in five swing states. It alleges that “a cabal of state and local executives have partnered with private interests” to undermine the integrity of the election. The 116-page complaint—which essentially challenges the constitutionality of all federal and state elections in the U.S.—was rife with errors, fallacies, and absurdities, leaving attorneys dumbfounded but not speechless.
“This is stupidity as it would be if Jesse & Heisenberg were cooking it,” Cohen rhapsodized, referring to the methamphetamine-making duo in the TV show “Breaking Bad.”
“Sydney Powell [sic] and Lin Wood stay up at night dreaming of perhaps, if they really work at it, someday coming close to the levels of legal incoherence that Erick Kaardal has accomplished here,” added Cohen, referring to a lawyer from the Thomas More Society, a pro-Trump charity that has partnered with Rudy Giuliani on a number of failed post-election lawsuits.
This is stupidity as it would be if Jesse & Heisenberg were cooking it. Sydney Powell and Lin Wood stay up at night dreaming of perhaps, if they really work at it, someday coming close to the levels of legal incoherence that Erick Kaardal has accomplished here
— Akiva Cohen (@AkivaMCohen) December 22, 2020
Filed in federal court in the District of Columbia Tuesday evening, the complaint rehashes a slew of already debunked conspiracy theories regarding “election irregularities and improprieties” and seeks to require state legislatures to approve the certification of election results in every state.
And whereas outgoing Vice President Mike Pence has appeared as a plaintiff in multiple lawsuits, he appears in this complaint as a defendant that the coalition wants to compel to topple the 2020 election results by court fiat.
“[U]nder Article II, Defendants Vice President Pence, the U.S. House of Representatives and the United States Senate can only open up and count Presidential elector ballots if the state legislature has affirmatively voted to certify the Presidential electors; otherwise, the votes of the Presidential electors cannot be counted,” the suit erroneously claims. “The Plaintiffs claim that the Vice President and U.S. Congress act unconstitutionally in this election and future elections when they count votes of Presidential electors where the respective state legislature has not affirmatively voted in favor of post-election certification”
According to The Detroit News, two Republican state lawmakers included as plaintiffs in the suit, Reps. Matt Maddock and Daire Rendon, were “working to remove their names” from the complaint within hours of its filing.
While they had given Kaardal permission to use their names, the lawmakers told the news outlet that “what was eventually filed is very different than what was initially discussed.”
The suit names 19 defendants, including both chambers of Congress and “the Electoral College.” The latter caused quite a stir amid the legal community.
“They’re going to try to serve process on the Electoral College. I am deceased,” Reuters legal journalist Brad Heath said.
“I know that might sound surprising given how much time we’ve spent talking about the Electoral College, but that’s the literal truth. The Electoral College isn’t actually a thing that exists. It’s a process. This is like being hit by a hurricane and trying to sue ‘the wind,’” Mike Dunford wrote on Twitter.
I know that might sound surprising given how much time we've spent talking about the Electoral College, but that's the literal truth. The Electoral College isn't actually a thing that exists. It's a process. This is like being hit by a hurricane and trying to sue "the wind."
— Mike Dunford (@questauthority) December 23, 2020
Cohen also weighed in on Kaardal’s decision to sue a non-existent defendant.
“That’s like filing a lawsuit against ‘chemotherapy’ or ‘the foreign policy establishment.’ As I said last night, pity the poor process server who was handed a summons and told ‘ok, go serve this on the Electoral College,’” Cohen wrote.
“On the plus side, they DID make up a physical address for ‘Defendant Electoral College’ – it’s the US Capitol Building, where (unless I’m wrong and the DC electors use it) exactly NONE of the temporary members of the Electoral College even meet to vote.”
On the plus side, they DID make up a physical address for "Defendant Electoral College" – it's the US Capitol Building, where (unless I'm wrong and the DC electors use it) exactly NONE of the temporary members of the Electoral College even meet to vote
— Akiva Cohen (@AkivaMCohen) December 23, 2020
U.S. District Judge James Boasberg, an appointee of President Barack Obama, also seemed to pick up on the futility of serving the electoral college, issuing an order Wednesday stating that “as soon as Plaintiffs file proofs of service on all Defendants, a briefing schedule and hearing shall be set.”
Judge Boasberg says the absurd new election-overturning case in D.C. will go forward just as soon as the @ThomasMoreSoc files proof of service "on all Defendants," which will be challenging because one of the defendants is the Electoral College, which isn't really a thing. pic.twitter.com/U8f50fpYoP
— Brad Heath (@bradheath) December 23, 2020
University of Texas School of Law professor Steve Vladeck similarly appeared to have little confidence in the suit.
“’Everything about presidential elections is unconstitutional, but we waited until seven weeks after the election—and 8 days after the Electoral College voted—to bring a lawsuit arguing why, and asking to throw out … everything,’” he mockingly wrote, adding, “Yeah, good luck with that.”
“Everything about presidential elections is unconstitutional, but we waited until seven weeks after the election—and 8 days after the Electoral College voted—to bring a lawsuit arguing why, and asking to throw out … everything.”
Yeah, good luck with that. https://t.co/oyEJ0eqh4M
— Steve Vladeck (@steve_vladeck) December 22, 2020
Read the full lawsuit below:
[images via ANGELA WEISS and MANDEL NGAN / AFP via Getty Images]
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